so here goes my one and only atypical post. bear with me please

                                                           STAR WARS

       Cameron Eamon awakened in extreme pain.  It hurt so bad he could not move anything except his 

swollen  eyes. A woman was in the room, not far from the bed he was laying in.

       "You are awake?"she asked, "Ill get the doctor."

        Cameron said nothing, trying to remember what had led him to wherever this was. A moment

later a man walked into the room.

         "Keep him on the pain meds so as to keep him comfortable." the doctor ordered. Cam winced as the

hypodermic slid into his vein and then everything became grey.

 

making the best of a very bad situation

 january is a bleak month after the holidays . seasonal affective disorder or sad is at its all time high or low

pun intended. so you sit around like a crazed monkey spanking the hell out of it and even that becomes

boring after a while.. get creative , find someone of a like mind and energy level and do that thing 

maybe it will be more fun  than you realize, bake a cake celebrate when in doubt mas

the worms crawl in

 so, what happens now that the first attempt failed ? more of the same im afraid. weell what did youexpect to happen?  was it what you wanted it to be?   no more free lunches for senators and representatives ..the system is broke and can't be fixed . i didnt support the coup and i m sad it came down to so much death and sadness.. ij was just plain wrong 

ravings of a madman...  

there is nothing of substance left for us anymore. they say when you die you  are supposed to walk into the light, the light draws you into what .the fires of hell can shine so bright. enough fire can make it seem alright, but i doubt it..because i just dont know for certain.  i've faced death so many times now and each time its been a mixcd jumble of thoughts and feelings . so i don't know but there is something that doesn't make sense that if there is a god, wheree is he in our hour of need??a lot of old stories and tales, but i cant seem to buy a cart full of apples that i cant see..., sight unseen... 

little did i know...

more of the sane

hi its me again... i am not giving up. im thinking about life and all the twists and turns it throws at us...
there in, if you are smart , you gain wisdom. if you dub't then you might be screwed.. no wonder the neanderthals didnt have the brains to survive...

history repeats

corona virus.... scary thought, but take a look at our history about plagues of the past few thousand
years... plague of frogs, fleas ,boils, and the black plague (bubonic) and pneumonic plague which
a lot of people forget about it... then you have the small pox and measles, yellow fever , dengue
fever , undulant fever, ebola, and now covid 19 , the spanish flu  swine flu , my god its a mess out there. i recall an event in colonial williamsburg,va years where a group of inebriated locals  rolled down
duke of gloucester street in an oxcart calling out "throw out your dead" a revival of the black plague
years that swept the world...just thinking about things

im sorry i have to apologize to anyone who needs it right now. i do not support these killings by the police all over the world.. the problem we are seeing cannot be solved. the police crack heads, and although theree are many police and first responders that are basically good people there will always be
those who slip through the cracks that should never be given a badge and a gun or a baton. back in the
old days police dealt with racial problems by killing and lynching troublesome people of color..
And i say this not to create a much larger problem, but we are doomed to repeat history.again and
again because we are imperfect beings, we will never get it right. thats not how the human psyche works folks. we all want to change things for the better for the future for our kids and grandkids,
that is human nature, but what also is human nature is the belief that we can make possitive change
to those things we dont like . the problem lies in the way we go about making these changes, because we all believe our way is the best way,and no one is willing to give an inch one way or another...

It has to be done this way! that in turn causes others to react in their own interests.. racism has been around since noah was a  messcook and its  not going to be stopped , probably not ever . its wrong , yes, beating a man down into submission has always been the way, or some other type of torture.
having our lord crucified is an example ...the ultimate torture for the time and it put the fear in people
and the terror it brings. thats what the tactic is to take power away from one people and have it taken by someone in order to keep a man his family, his people his nation his race and religious beliefs from being dominant ...its been that way since recess out on the playground  and it will always be with
us all the rest of history.. we cant fight it because its incurable. and its human nature. so we have to decide how to fix something that cant be fixed...we can only treat the symptoms..if at all
but we will never cure the disease itself.. love may conquer all but there isn't much love going around right now , and right in the middle of a pandemic too boot...

corona virus go away never come back

ive found that people are so strange .they start to believe something and then talk about it and in their
minds the thought becomes a truth. kind of like the prez does .if you say it enough it must be truth...

whacko nutjobs out there will believe just about anything if it fits their story line. conspiracy theories are abundant, transmission of covid 19 over the micro wave towers and ovens into everyones homes
are just small examples of what im talking about..so i'm about to take a chance here and speak to the
truth, myself...this disease isnt even close to being over... thespanish flu came back with a vengance in the fall of 1918 and ravaged the world in 1920-21....bubuonic plague wiped out 1/4 of europe in the
14th century and 15th century..so not all is quite as well as the prez sez....he is lacking in a lot of areas
brain cells, honesty and integrity and morality ... ah such trying times we live in..

poop hits the oscillator

covid 19, a real and deadly game changer..stay at home  ,take no chances... good advice, now if we can survive long enough to get back to work, we might be okay  maybe...the big list is long and soe things are hard to find now,  masks, bleach and germ killers , foods and other supplies we need to feel human..

taking stock of materials

hi all , better start a list of things you need.  thankfully i did some shopping just as winter was about to go bye bye.  we always buy sweet potatoes in november. about 20 lbs. worth. we wrap them up in newspaper and store them in a big box and we use  as needed..we got a good bunch this year..
we use a lot of bottled water since our well water is okay, but not great..
dry goods, we stock up over the new year and canned goods are plentiful. we also freeze a lot with our big chest freezer..its a huge beast but it was free so i grabbed it and brought it .its about 8 feet long and as wide as a small pickup truck.. it seems the person who bought it was not happy with the color
white and wanted an olive green one to match her stove and reefer and other appliances..so she donated it to me.. we are truly blessed..
other needs are more difficult now, with the pandemic..my med s and other needs , i don't know how but i'll make it happen...previous proper planning prevents piss poor performance...

gearing up for wshtf

reality can really suck at times..boy don't you know it..it can hit you like a 300mph baseball bat
right between you beady little eyes, so go ahead and face up to it..bad things do happen all of
the time to good people... thats the nature of the beast...  is this the end times? lets take a look ..
famine,  disease , pestilence , and death.. sure sounds fitting doesn't it..we christians as a whole
are well meaning people, but some of them have got the strange notion in their heads that if they place their trust in god, god will provide for their needs..okay i get that.but history tells me a different story
that trusting in god and being prepared for bad times is what gets it done....extra non perishable foods,
cans of soup, frozen veggies , yeast,flour and shortening go a long way in feeding you when things get tight... the food riots havent started quite yet, but soon, ye of little faith....
basics, basics. how many times do i have to write it out for people?
shelter dry warmth and food water and medications and toilet paper, ammo and a good full lighter
and lots of tinder and kindling make for a happy home... don't say i didn't tell you 

survival mode

okay , sometimes  you the bear, sometimes the bear gets you,laws of nature...etc.
lets look at the facts shall we?  we are having shortages of food and other sundries
in the groceries department ,the power has dropped off twice today and people are protesting in the big cities over closing down of businesses.  how long until the food riots start, the economy is collapsing before our eye, and our retirement money has nearly disappeared ....ohhhh this cant be good for anyone
but the insurance and bankers and the lawyers and hospitals,, someones going to have to pay for it...
gather up your ammo,its going to be a hot spring and summer..and the possibility of a viral slowdown and then bam it body slams us in October or november ... like the spanish flu pandemic in 1917-18 came back to kill a lot more people..some people died in 12 hours after contracting the virus from
viral induced pneumonia and organ failure... scary isnt it? and now the us is looking at china really hard about a lab not far from where the chinese claim the virus got started...they lied thats obvious..
so boil your water, roast your meat at the proper temperature and buy emu... or better yet buy me a box
of emu. think peaceful thoughts but keep you powder dry..i will be back later as time permits

survival series continued

some people say i was crazy, maybe, but look at where we were and where we are now...
this covid 19 pandemic is as close to a game changer as ive ever seen,  weve come a long way
in medical science since the last pandemic of 1918 spanish flu. and i haven't posted a blog in
a while... yes, because of personal issues,  4 heart attacks and 5 surgeries later and two eye operations
have done wonders for my health...i can see again thanks to the best eye surgeon in the world,
dr.sanjay asrani at duke university's eye hospital...20/10 vision in each eye,who'd a thunk it?
my heart surgeries well it took them a few years to figure it out..,but i thank god for keeping me
safely through it all,

so lets get down to the tacks of it all....you are now unemployed, no money coming in the rent is due,and your wife is giving you the barracuda eyes and smile...,teeth and all..what do you do?
that's a good question...  you need work, you need money, you do what you have to do to survive..
  you take a low paying job,delivering food in your old beater, and or you go get a job at a grocery  store spraying disinfectant on carts and you go spend hour in line at the food bank..
Or you dig down deep and take what there is  that is being offered and you pray..and you werk yer butts off and get er done...stress will kill you just as fast as anything else, but you got to remind yourself
that you never planned for this situation to happen because you didnt think it was possible to be
caught up in something like this ...stop breathe in hold it breathe out, do this a few times to get
the oxygen to your brains and let the squirrels run wild in that wheel inside your head and by
golly you might just come up with a plan.like making face masks using granny's old singer
sewing machine and looking online for instructions

its been hell. learning how to type by touch alone i'd give anything to have my eyesight back . an arm or a leg.
anything at all. i fell in love twice in my life. one was good. the second time wasn't so good. i never told them that i loved them and now i cant see to tell them im changed deep inside i think they knew how i felt, but never let on they knew. i sat in the shower the water spraying me in the face.. damn my self for my short comings and my failures.. damn myself for feeling at all . damn myself for wanting what i did and not saying i cared . damn myself for love i should not have feeling.. i didn't listen ..i didn't open my ears or my eyes..

survival series cont...

the sailors and soldiers constant companions are fear, cold, hunger , thirst and boredom. in the field, fear keeps a man or woman alive . being wet, and cold, hungry and scared shiftless can bog you down, especially if you havent eaten or slept in a few days... i know. i ve been there a number of times.. dry is essential to being healthy. water is the second concern.. rain water will suffice as long as you filter it and boil it  to purify it
warm means layers. you can always take something off, but you cant always put something on if you dont have it.. warm also co notates having a fire or hot coals to heat the air..around you. learn the principles of fire making.. a must know how to do if you dont want to freeze to death.. heat up rocks to boil water.. hot water makes tea and coffee. hot rocks keep a bed warm also... come the crunch (and believe me its going to come sooner than you are expecting) you'll have supplies stored up. pure water to drink and a warm place to sleep..you may be broke, monetarily , but beans and bullets wont come cheap after the end falls out...

  no im not an expert on anything, im an excellent cook, a great shot and have a knack for good story telling, and a writer of sorts. if anything, im one of those survivalist nuts.. always have been and always will be..end of story. read stories of survival, from those who lie it every day.. i live it, even though im going blind ive got four other senses to keep me alive..   so keep you r powder dry, and your canteens full.. and keep a flask of
vsop handy , brandy . 

the crunch is coming.. some will say the economy is artificially being carried by the oil companies lowering gas prices to less than 2;oo per gallon. today i saw gas at 1.99.9 cents a gallon..and it struck me as being the first indicator.. the first in a long line of indicators that things are not what they seem to be.. january is a tough month for everyone, february will be a lot worse.. here farmes grow hay to feed cattle  which they sell all summer long to other cattlemen.. but you dont get good hay in february .. no money after the holidays and other base prices are up and still going up even if gas prices are dropping below two bucks a gallon..jobs are also an indicator.  jobless rates seem to be down..that s  because people arent reporting themselves un employed or under employed, any more. they , like me have quit trying to find work. because of lack of funds, bad health, or no jobs to be had. also whats this bullshit about speaking spanish to get a job... this is america, not mexico.. i speak english, and some other languages i wont talk about, but im not going to learn spanish so i can wash pots and pans for minimum wage... things are so bad here they closed the unemployment office and the closest one is 30 miles away.. what a laugh... me travel 30 miles to apply for a job.. not this american ... im toughing it out making money the old fashioned way.. using my metal detector...

hello to all , another year has passed by and here it is dead center of the cold frozen winter. ive been lazy not
writing in my blog for some time now, but personal writing has become more difficult since i found out  i was going blind. in november. my visual range has dropped considerably, due to diabetes, which i have done real well in keeping my numbers down , but alas the damage was done before i found out i was a diabetic in 2011 . right now everything is a fuzzy gray and i have to strain to read anything , driving at night is out, and soon daytime driving will be nearly impossible... the doctor tells me a corneal transplant is a far shot due to the  thinning out of my retinas ..less than a 20 percent bet if we do it...he says my vision will gradually diminish until all i see is a brown gray blob...great... a one in four chance, if i can raise 25 grand for the surgery.. but i willing to risk it and since mrs bob works at duke eye hospital, we might be able to wrangle surgery at a lower cost for employee discounts..hahahaha.. like thats going to happen.. oh welll. so im stuck with the rock and the hard place.. i need to work on this... praying i find some way out of it.. damned neuropathy has been bothering me as well. numb toes and then my feet catch on fire or so it feels like it.. .. i got nothing but bad luck so far.. and then having someone cutting on my eyes...nerve wracking and scary as hell... im praying for a miracle, but deep down its the most difficult decision personally ill have to make.. see you out on the street, when i start selling pencils or fruit to passers by ....peace and good hunting...

president makes mistakes as well

mr obama's new approach to immigration leaves me wondering if americans can handle what he is doing to our borders???  im not against legal lawful immigration to this country. we already have good laws on the books to deal with illegal immigration, only the feds do not enforce what there is. they are to busy weeding out  terrorists and political opponents to do the job correctly. first off, this country is a great place to be born in, i know i was born here... and i served our country proudly and will continue to do so.. voting is a privelege and the right to voice your opinion for or against government policy is a right that some people want to limit.. they want to take away our rights  one by one or regulate these rights right out of existance ..
   maybe they want anarchy in our streets when hispanic drug gangs emigrate to the good old usa and peddle death and destruction to our cities and towns.. we have gang bangers here and lots of grafitti has shown up marking territorial bounds . and there are places you dont go once it gets dark at night.. im not saying we have to live in fear. we can move cant we??? but wait this is my home, my land and im not giving up to the likes of narcotrafficantes who slipped across the border at night through a tunnel carrying drugs and weapons.. its ridiculous..

greetings to my new followers whereever you are... hate... i dont like it. not one bit...

 survival classes starting up in october,, outdoor fun. learn to live , learn to love, learn to reach out for those rights you have that are god given .. law abiding citizens, legally here citizens, firestarting, kindling ,
finding water. sun position , tracking wild game, hunting fishing , bug out bags, family protection, the works do it yourself medical training and dental , mental , and zombie protection..

survival series , summer prep

its time to harvest the resins from pine trees.. a simple cut can yield a half cup or more of sticky sap that can save your bacon in the winter time. a simple slash and bingo you have the best firestarter in the world...next to charcloth...
also it is a good time to stock up on dry goods. seeds for the garden for next spring and water, candles, and other needed survival gear.. i waited to get a few things post hunting season and made out like a bandit at wally weird so goest thou to the store, dont looketh up or down or at the zombies in the meat aisle
also its a great time just before school starts to lay down the ground rules with the kiddies as to where when, to meet in case of an emergency before the new school year starts.. most schools have a lock down plan in place. if they dont, complain to the pta and get one going in good faith... tell the kiddies to stick to the plan.. these are scary times with a lot of nutjobs floating loose out there.. our police will not
keep you and yours safe. they are worried about theirs being safe and no one elses.. cya... and the asses of your loved ones.. teach your kids archery .. theyll love the sport and thank you for it later on when they bring dinner home... true story... my mom and dad stopped by to bring me grandpa vans hunting bow by that hed left me in his will .. since i was proficient at the bow and arrow.. and so it goes.. anyway i walk up from the edge of the field with a brace of rabbits id shot while hunting.. a brace is three or more.. it was early november at the time and well they were surprised to see me walking up with bow in hand in my cammies ...lol .. we ate well that night, rabbit stew, with mushrooms, gravy and biscuits all mixed togetherin the dutch oven.. and i got a new bow to hunt deer with.. ive used it well until it fell apart after some 70 years of use  and retired it ... gee  .. any ways happy b day penny.. 2 more to retirement age  (snicker snicker() she winks at me and says yeah like thatll ever happen... no retirement for us.. we is poor and dirt poor too.. living is tough, but were surviving..   bye all lol